Monday 17th January - DH goes back to work.......Where did that month go? When he broke up on the 16th December it seemed like he would have an eternity off work, but it flew by.
Since DD went back to school we have been doing the school run together to get me used to it. Sounds a bit pathetic as I write now, but it was a scary thought back then getting out of the house with a baby, a 5 year old who still won't dress herself and me after a night shift in the milk factory. Fortunately I dont have to do it every day, as she goes to breakfast club some days and DH will drop her off at 8am on the way to work and my mum will still collect her 2 afternoons a week. No point stopping this as when I go back to work later in the year she will be too used to me doing the school run there and back everyday. Plus she loves going to her Nannys house and going to breakfast club etc.
Getting to and from school has been fine for the last couple of weeks (with DH) - somedays easier than others. Some days I have managed a shower and hairwash before leaving the house, other days its been a case of throw my clothes on and have a quick bowl of cereal. All depends on what the state of play with Alex is really - have I just fed him, or if he's due a feed do I chance chucking him in the pram and hope he sleeps rather than cries. Thankfully its winter and I have a big chunky coat with a hood to cover up dodgy bed hair if needed. DH makes sure she has a packed lunch made and that she is dressed/teeth cleaned/hair brushed etc.
Anyway as its Monday, I am collecting rather than dropping off and its not bad at all. In fact I overcompensate for having a baby and arrive 10 mins early Everyone coo's over Alex - he is very cute after all.. Its nice walking to collect her pushing the pram and DD is good and holds onto the pram like a good girl. Being a bit of free spirit, DD has a tendency to charge off and not necessarily listen when we say stop so I am pleasantly suprised.
I barely have time to miss DH this week really as I still have visitors coming and my mum pops up each day and begins the 'post paternity leave clean up'. The house is a bit grimy in places to be fair but we havent really minded but a proper clean is long overdue. I am still not meant to be doing heavy stuff like vacuuming, loading the washing machine etc - shame.
The health visitors assistant pops by on the Tuesday to weigh Alex.she is happy with him and he weighs now 8lb, 1oz and is on a high percentile which we are both happy with. Friends come after school so all the kids can play so the house is very moisy and pretty much a bombsite by the time DH gets home.
Wednesday 19th January.........Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me.........Oh yes its the big 40 today. I have officially entered my 4th decade with leaky boobs and an inability to drink more than 1 glass of wine without feeling tipsy. DH and DD spoil me before going to work/school and I get lovely cards and pressies. I open some other cards but then they run ouut of time and have to go. There are sparkly number 40's all over the floor - they keep falling out of pressies sent by Dad and WSM. Its funny that so many of my pressies have hearts on then.......necklaces and a brooch, a dangly heart candle thingy, a crystal sparkly heart pendant from DH...........so many lovely things.
I go to the village pub with Mum and Mike at lunchtime to eat, Alex obviously comes too but he just sleeps on in his pram. I have half a shandy - woo hoo. After school Mum brings Emma and we open more pressies and then DH gets home at 4.30pm - he worked through his lunch. A lovely friend from the next village brings me a big bunch of roses which is nice. The aim is to get the children into bed so we can have a nice meal but although DD goes to bed and sleeps, Alex has an unsettled evening so I am up and down the stairs, eating when I can and I have just one glass off sparkly pink stuff. Shouldn't be having anymore than that anyway otherwise my milk will be too boozy for the little boy.
So its not a massive birthday celebration but considering Alex was only due to be born 5 days ago on the 14th and he is actually now 4 weeks old I am in a lot better shape than I expected. And this is a year of being 40 so have lots of good stuff planned over the next few months when he is a little less dependant on me ( and I am in a position to drink lots of wine!!!)
On Thursday I do the morning school run and its a bit stressful but we make there okay and on time without any tears......
I go to the docs again and I know I have been thinking about it too much even though my home readings haven't been bad at all - in the 80's which is good. One night in the week I was sat thinking at about 3am feeding Alex and I started stressing about the possibility of a 24 hour blood pressure monitoring as the doc had mentioned. Jesus, what does that mean??? A trip back to hospital so they they attatch me to one of those auatomatic monitor things. Oh God, what if I can't take Alex with me??? Amazing how you can drive yourself mad with worry in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep.
Anyway so I sit in the docs again thinking about what the reading will be. Unsuprisingly its through the roof and the Doc wont even tell me what the reading is.....he is happy to disregard it though and goes with my home monitor readings though which are in the low 80's mainly so he is fine with that. He knows I make my own pressure higher by the power of thought. I tentatively ask him whether he will send me for 24 hour monitoring and what does it involve and I really dont want to go back to hospital. He looks at me like I am slightly insane and says we absolutely wouldn't send you back to hospital - we just put a machine on your arm and you go about your normal business, simple. Oh how daft I am to have worried. I need to listen to my own beliefs of sending away those negative thoughts, they don't do anybody any favours, myself included. I am allowed to have a week off and go back approx 2 weeks later to be checked but stay on the meds as normal until then. Back in 2005 it took me 4 months for my BP to get back to normal - he checked my medical record so looks like it may be similar this time. Phew...........
So I end the week quite happy and survived quite easily without DH, even though I have missed having him around it hasn't been bad at all.
See you next week xxx
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