Friday, 18 February 2011

Hello Smiler - w/c 5th Feb

We have a pretty quiet weekend at home except for DD has a party to go to on Sunday afternoon. It comes to something when our only outing is a prty for 5 year olds.  We did have a social life once, in the dim and distant past I think.  The problem with breast feeding is that you can't really go far from your baby in the first 2 or 3 months so going out in the evening isn't really possible at the moment. Not that I mind really - it no big deal.

Talking of breastfeeding - I love feeding my son and I did it for DD too but its really no fun in public places.  I am no earth mother and it doesn't come naturally for me to sit with my boob on show. I also find it hard to balance Alex on my arm, use my other hand to hold the flesh away from his nostrils (otherwise he would suffocate - I am no Kate Moss with bee stings for breasts) and stop the dribbles of milk pouring down his face and onto whatever top I am wearing. At home I have a big cushion that he stretches out on and lies in milk-drunken bliss slurping to his hearts content without any fuss.

Anyway at this kids birthday party the boy decides he wants to eat and theres no stopping his cries for it. Its the smallest village hall in the universe but I find a chair is a small corner on a little stage thing. The kids are watching a magic show anyway so its fairly peaceful. For 2 minutes at least. Then the magic show ends and the little stage becomes packed with kids running around like loons and jumping about. Alex is unsettled by the sudden noise and he becomes distracted, constantly losing the nipple. A charming little girl comes and pokes his head and asked what his spot is ( he has a small strawberry mark above his ear). I want to tell her to buggar off but don't dare for fear of being whacked by her parents who are probably close by. I smile at her sweetly. She won't go away - staring at him and then me & constantly firing questions like only a 5 year old can and poking at his head. Don't do that darlin I say to her, he won't like it. Why? she says. I wonder whether I can get away away with sticking my foot out as she skips off. A harmless little trip, no-one would know.   I know I know, don't phone social services I wouldn't really do it !!!!!

On Monday I make a quick trip into town for some speed-shopping at M&S. I am desperate for a few new tops. Changing rooms aren't an option with a pram really - no space.  Doesn't stop me spending £85 in 10 minutes though. I am like a kid in a sweet shop - My last visit to M&S was back in November - 3 months of abstinence has to be a record. I also make it to Boots for a few bits and a card shop to purchase Valentine Card for DH to avoid corner shop card embarrasment again. And I get home without having to face the public breastfeed. Perfect.

On Wednesday have no major plans apart from a docs appointment for both myself and Alex for the 6 week post-natal check.  I am fine - and woo hoo - my blood pressure is the lowest its been for ages so I am allowed to go from 3 tablets to 2 a day instead. The inevitable contraception discussion. Yes I know I know, we had IVF but theres still a chance, so the doc fills me in on the wonders of contraception in 2011. Not a discussion I have had to have with a doc since my 20's. Our family is definately complete and it would be ironic to fall pregnant now - just when we actually don't want to. So I listen carefully. The rest will be discussed in private with my DH, dear blog readers. And then its Alex's turn. All is not perfect actually and he doesn't get signed off yet.  He has a strawberry birthmark above his ear which will grow and get bigger but then shrink by the time he is toddling (no big deal to me). But she comments on his unevenly shaped skull. and she keeps measuring it and looking at it and says, yes definately lop-sided.  And he hasn't started social smiling yet and at 7 weeks he should be. So we have to go back in 2 weeks to be checked again.  But she says, try not to worry. Fat chance of not worrying but she says to me I have to get his head measured at baby clinic weigh in tomorrow.  So I come out of the docs feeling a bit worried and definately deflated. I spend the rest of the day staring at his head. It is a bit uneven I think. Bloody hell, its not stress free being a parent is it?

On Thursday I go to the baby group in the village at the sure-start centre. Once a month the HV is there for baby weigh in and to answer any questions. Its also a bit of a social group for mums. I hadn't been before but thought I would give it a shot as I don't really know anyone with newborns at the moment. I really like my HV, she is very good which makes a pleasant change. The one I had with my DD was awful, not helpful and very patronising.  She says whilst she notices his head isn't evenly shaped she really doesnt think its that bad and is certain that it won't give him any long term problems. She measures it and its pretty normal size - on the right percentile. She recommends I visit a cranial osteopath to see what they think. He has also reached 10lb in weight. Yay! - he can now go in his grobag at night meaning I don't have to keep faffing about with his blankets that he keeps kicking off.  If I am honest I don't really enjoy the mum and baby chit chat bit - its somehow different 2nd time around. I don't feel the need to discuss in great detail the contents of my babies nappy, sleep patterns and feeding habits. And the mums are very sweet and friendly but ever so slightly dull and boring. Sorry, thats mean but I cannot bear sitting in a circle cooing over babies that don't belong to me. I cannot bear dribble and the smell of other babies stinky nappies. I try my hardest to strike up conversation but its hard work.  I am saved by Alex crying for milk so I sit and feed him. I am the ONLY breastfeeder there but if I can't expose myself at a baby group where can I??? Theres a fab rocking chair and they give me a feeding cushion too.  I spot DD in the school playground through the window and I love watching her play - she has no clue I am there.  I make my excuses and leave to go home.

Baby massage in the afternoon which is good, better than last week and we actually manage 2 massages before tucking into tea and millionaires shortbread. Probably the most expensive baby activity I have done but it is really good. THE BEST thing about it though is that Alex gives me his first huge smile!!!!! Its a big broad smile and its is just lovely, makes all the hard work bits of being a mummy worth it. Hooray! - thats one thing the GP can tick off her list for him.  Turns out the massage teacher is a friend of a friend of mine and we have met in the past. I had an evening of beauty of home years ago and all the girls from work came around and we did facials/pedicures etc and we booked her to come and do massages for each of us. Small world.

DH is now allowed 2 free passes to the spare bed each week now.  He isn't allowed to cash them in at the weekend but he gets 2 undisturbed nights during the week.  I am suprised he didn't try to negotiate for 3 nights, thats what I would have done.  Saves the grumpy exchange in the mornings if he feels he hasn't slept well (yeah right) like the other Sunday so we are both happy.

And I end the week with a quiet Friday really. I am a dab hand at the school run now, usually managing to be showered, hairwashed and blowdried now - and get me - sometimes a bit of mascara and lipgloss too. I am glamour mum (in my dreams).  I go to visit 'Jurassic Park' at DD's school at 2.45. DH meets me there and we view all the dinosaurs made by the kids at home ( no help from parents of course). I was worried that hers would be too professional as DH spent far much time 'helping' but my fears were unfounded. 90% of them looked far too good for the kids to have made alone thats for sure. One of them was even made from metal, painted and welded and bolted together for Gods sake! Then all the kids sang some songs for us which I have to admit brought a lump to my throat. My little girl is growing up so quickly. She was so proud of herself for singing all the words and getting a big round of applause from the parents.

So I have a fab 5 year old girlie growing up fast and a very cute baby boy with a wonky head. Better book that cranial osteopath.....

Another week gone already..........

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