I think my blogging days are coming to a close. As I type its the 19th of April and I am more than halfway through the Easter school holidays....and guess what? I am loving it! The sun is shining, I am getting as close to normal a nights sleep as is possible with a baby and a 5 year old, we are having fun and my daughter is loving her little brother so much. We do have our moments of course, life isn't perfect, time is in short supply and my to do list gets longer rather than shorter but hey ho thats just the way it is.
When I was in hospital my blog is what kept me going each day, I had time to kill and it seems that it kept people entertained too. But the biggest attraction of reading it I think was that everyone wanted to know what happened in the end. But this blog of course is more of a diary for me and as Alex turns 4 months old this Friday (where the hell did that time go?) it has served as a great record of events for his first few weeks of life for us to look back on in years to come.
A few weeks ago I got a lovely message from someone via an online message board that I go on sometimes. It was from a lady who was stuck in hospital with exactly the same condition that I had - same hospital, same consultant, same fertility treatment even. She was on Robert Watson Ward too - had been there a month with still 2 more weeks to go until her planned C-Section. I was amazed that she found me but she told me that Paula and Helen had given her the link to my blog and suggested she read it to help her through her long hospital stay. How lovely that those two midwives still remember me and are telling people to read the blog to help them too. Brought a lump to my throat it did. I messaged her back and wished her well. Fingers crossed all went well for her and she is now at home with her precious baby.
DH had his birthday and that night the clocks went forward. That was breakthrough week for Alex sleeping. For some reason the clocks changing coincided with him just waking once a night and he has been doing ever since. I know some babies sleep through the night from much earlier than him but I am really pleased with that. He is asleep by 7pm and goes through til at least 6am with just one feed a night now. I feel like a new woman!!!! And sometimes my body clock is waking me up before he does, and I no longer have to be in bed by 9pm. Mind you I still never see past 10pm, that would be far too daring........
We have had some stressful times with 'battle of the bottle'. We had tried everything, spent a fortune on 3 different types of bottle, 3 brands of formula, me leaving the house while DH tried to get him down him, you name it we have tried it. The baby boy just loves his boob too much. I was on the verge of giving up trying and resigned myself to breastfeeding forever but spurred on by the thought of having to cancel my girlie weekend in May I went on boob strike just last weekend. I expressed milk at every feed and despite him fighting the bottle for most of the Saturday, hunger kicked in and he started to take the bottle late afternoon. I carried on all day Sunday and he took it without fuss. Expressing every feed is such a faff though and it was okay while DH was home but yesterday with DD and Alex to look after on my own I thought sod this and cracked open the formula again. He still guzzled it down and this time didn't gag and spit it back out at me like I was giving him poison like he had before. So hopefully I have cracked it this time. I am feeding him by boob in the morning, at bedtime and in the night but bottle feeding in the daytime. Thank God, my nipples couldn't have taken much more constant pumping. For those of you who have never experienced an electric breast pump, just try putting the most tender part of your body in the hose of your Dyson vacuum cleaner and switch on. Grit your teeth for about 25 minutes and you'll get the idea.
I am still on the blood pressure tablets. Its not far off normal now but the doc is weaning me off them slowly.......all of that stress in my first couple of weeks after leaving hospital seems a distant memory, with my BP through the roof.
Alex has had his last lot of jabs today - no more until he is one year old now. And he went in his own big cot on Tuesday 5th April . In his room all on his own - I did feel quite emotional about it at first as it was strange not seeing him in with us but he really was too big for his moses basket and we are all sleeping much better now.
And he is such a delight to have. He chats and gurgles gibberish at us all the time (where does he get that from??) Last week he learned to giggle and laugh - its so funny to watch him. He can't turn over yet but he is very good at bum shuffling along on his play mat, the time is whizzing by so quickly we will be watching him crawl before we know it. I never thought I could love another child so much but all my friends were right - you just find as much love to give to a second child as you do with your first. I couldn't ask for much more really.
When DD was about 3 I used to take her to this yoga class for kids which in total honesty was a bit of a disaster as she didn't take to it but anyway there was another mum there who I used to chat to. One day we were talking and she shared with me that when she put her daughter to bed at night they used to tell each other 3 things that had happened that day that they were grateful for and gave thanks for. They did it every single day and it ended the day on a positive note even if the day hadn't been great. I thought that was a brilliant idea and I started doing it too. We don't do it every day but we do at least 3 times a week. DD often says to me 'mummy we haven't done the gratefuls!' Its really simple stuff like 'I am grateful having a lovely time with our friends' or 'for having a lovely lunch' or 'getting a smile from Alex' Sounds cheesy but if you feel like you have had a crap day and feel shattered it makes you pick out all the good stuff from your day. Sending a bit of gratitude out into the world can only be a positive thing in this day and age of moaning and whinging. ( I am not exempt either, I am very capable of a whinge when things aren't going my way sometimes)
So anyway, try it yourself, you never know you might like it........
Time to sign off now. I know I have a lot to be thankful for and I think myself lucky everyday. I am sending out a bit of love to some of my family and friends who have had a really terrible year for various reasons. You know who you are.
This time last year we were a family of three and just getting towards the end of the IVF cycle that created Alexander. On Saturday this week on the 23rd of April it will exactly a year ago that he was conceived. An embryologist performed a miracle for us that day and hand picked out the bit of me and the bit of DH that would ultimately create our baby boy. How amazing is that? And if you had told me then what the following 12 months would have in store for us I really wouldn't have believed it. Its been a bumpy ride.
So thats me done, bye for now.............thanks for reading.
Love Helen xxxxxx
Tuesday 19 April 2011
Sunday 3 April 2011
w/e 25th March.....bye bye Noel
Noel Edmonds gets the elbow this week. Deal or No Deal is deleted from the sky+ series link. It had to be done - good weather and at least 10 episodes backed up jostling for space with about a million of DD's Barbie movies and DH's Shed channel DIY nonsense. The Dream Factory hadn't given me the excitement of a quarter millionaire and I have been watching since hospital confinement back in November. Useful brain-dead TV to watch in the early days of having Alex at home with me sat on the sofa constantly feeding but now we have grown apart. I am sure Noel won't miss me.
Its a gorgeous week with the sun shining and the baby boy is starting to sleep better at night so its a joy to have some longer periods of sleep. He is still in the moses basket with me and DH at night but is a fairly quiet sleeper and doesnt disturb us much at all. Problem is at 14 weeks old he has doubled his birthweight and he is getting a bit big for it. I am very reluctant to put him in his own room yet - his cot seems massive compared to the moses basket. I am smitten by my little boy and I just want him with us a bit longer. DH is more practical and says the boy has to go in his big cot. I will try and string it out for another couple of weeks yet so long as he is not actually squishing his head and legs of course.
After the weekend away I feel a bit rested and relaxed and Monday morning yoga is lovely - Alex is smiley and gurgles on the mat and I almost manage all the postures. I whizz to Tescos after as the fridge is empty and Mum and Mike come to the rescue of the overgrown lawns. The dust is blown off the lawnmower after months of hibernation and I am surprised it doesnt break with the strain.
On Wednesday DH wakes up with the dreaded gunky eyes. He goes off to work but texts me updates throughout the day. In typical bloke fashion its VERY serious. Text: Eye verry red (he doesnt spell very well) Text: Cant see out of left eye. I text back 'Will you be okay to drive?' He texts back : Sure will be fine. Bit overdramatic then perhaps? I take Alex swimming and then I go to the docs for another BP check. I am still on the tablets after all this time but a low dose. Alex again chooses his moment to kick off in the docs and for reasons that I still do not know he wakes from his peaceful sleep and bawls and bawls in the waiting room. So of course by the time I actually see the doctor, my BP is not particularly low. 133/86 - not that bad but too high to come off the tablets. Back in 2 weeks. I check my phone - another text from DH - eyes bad, on way home. Lord help me. Note to self, stock up on anti-bac and send DH back to the spare bed for a couple of nights. When DH gets home his is eye is quite red to be fair but he won't go to the docs. He would actually have to be bleeding out of his eye sockets or something equally bad to actually go to the docs so instead we compromise and use the eye ointment that I was prescribed but only used for 2 days.
He is under strict orders to not touch or kiss any of us. The last thing I need is for the conjuctivitis to do the rounds in this house again.
He doesnt go back to work Thursday or Friday as the eye is very watery and obviously contagious. I am an expert in eye drop administration so I do all his drops wearing a disposable glove and triple handwashing. A little OTT but I am not taking any chances. The washing machine does overtime again with all the sheets, pillowcases and towels. The downstairs loo becomes the 'contamination room' and its for the use of DH only. DD is very amusing and knows the rules by now - no touching D-a-d-d-y (she is learning to read with phonics so every word she utters these days is spelt out loud). We are the eye gunk family she tells her nanny. Nothing wrong with his hands though so I make sure he does a few bits around the house while he is at home.
Business as usual for me though and I go out on Thursday and Friday as planned and leave him to it. By Friday afternoon the eye drops are doing their job and his eyes are starting to calm down.
On Friday morning we have a visit from the Father at our local church and we book a date for Alex's baptism. We don't go to church on a regular basis but do at special times of year - Christmas and all the village events organised by the church - fetes, parachuting teddies, harvest festival etc. I do feel slightly guilty asking for a baptism when we are not there on a regular basis and tell him this but he is very gracious and says a baptism is a gift from God and there is not a test or a checklist to complete in order to be eligible. Alex is very quiet and a good baby while we are talking. Father G strokes his head and blesses him before he goes.
We are indeed very blessed. Thankfully a much better week and its DH's birthday tomorrow (Saturday) so a good start to the weekend we hope.
Its a gorgeous week with the sun shining and the baby boy is starting to sleep better at night so its a joy to have some longer periods of sleep. He is still in the moses basket with me and DH at night but is a fairly quiet sleeper and doesnt disturb us much at all. Problem is at 14 weeks old he has doubled his birthweight and he is getting a bit big for it. I am very reluctant to put him in his own room yet - his cot seems massive compared to the moses basket. I am smitten by my little boy and I just want him with us a bit longer. DH is more practical and says the boy has to go in his big cot. I will try and string it out for another couple of weeks yet so long as he is not actually squishing his head and legs of course.
After the weekend away I feel a bit rested and relaxed and Monday morning yoga is lovely - Alex is smiley and gurgles on the mat and I almost manage all the postures. I whizz to Tescos after as the fridge is empty and Mum and Mike come to the rescue of the overgrown lawns. The dust is blown off the lawnmower after months of hibernation and I am surprised it doesnt break with the strain.
On Wednesday DH wakes up with the dreaded gunky eyes. He goes off to work but texts me updates throughout the day. In typical bloke fashion its VERY serious. Text: Eye verry red (he doesnt spell very well) Text: Cant see out of left eye. I text back 'Will you be okay to drive?' He texts back : Sure will be fine. Bit overdramatic then perhaps? I take Alex swimming and then I go to the docs for another BP check. I am still on the tablets after all this time but a low dose. Alex again chooses his moment to kick off in the docs and for reasons that I still do not know he wakes from his peaceful sleep and bawls and bawls in the waiting room. So of course by the time I actually see the doctor, my BP is not particularly low. 133/86 - not that bad but too high to come off the tablets. Back in 2 weeks. I check my phone - another text from DH - eyes bad, on way home. Lord help me. Note to self, stock up on anti-bac and send DH back to the spare bed for a couple of nights. When DH gets home his is eye is quite red to be fair but he won't go to the docs. He would actually have to be bleeding out of his eye sockets or something equally bad to actually go to the docs so instead we compromise and use the eye ointment that I was prescribed but only used for 2 days.
He is under strict orders to not touch or kiss any of us. The last thing I need is for the conjuctivitis to do the rounds in this house again.
He doesnt go back to work Thursday or Friday as the eye is very watery and obviously contagious. I am an expert in eye drop administration so I do all his drops wearing a disposable glove and triple handwashing. A little OTT but I am not taking any chances. The washing machine does overtime again with all the sheets, pillowcases and towels. The downstairs loo becomes the 'contamination room' and its for the use of DH only. DD is very amusing and knows the rules by now - no touching D-a-d-d-y (she is learning to read with phonics so every word she utters these days is spelt out loud). We are the eye gunk family she tells her nanny. Nothing wrong with his hands though so I make sure he does a few bits around the house while he is at home.
Business as usual for me though and I go out on Thursday and Friday as planned and leave him to it. By Friday afternoon the eye drops are doing their job and his eyes are starting to calm down.
On Friday morning we have a visit from the Father at our local church and we book a date for Alex's baptism. We don't go to church on a regular basis but do at special times of year - Christmas and all the village events organised by the church - fetes, parachuting teddies, harvest festival etc. I do feel slightly guilty asking for a baptism when we are not there on a regular basis and tell him this but he is very gracious and says a baptism is a gift from God and there is not a test or a checklist to complete in order to be eligible. Alex is very quiet and a good baby while we are talking. Father G strokes his head and blesses him before he goes.
We are indeed very blessed. Thankfully a much better week and its DH's birthday tomorrow (Saturday) so a good start to the weekend we hope.
Friday 1 April 2011
19/20 March - our first trip away with Baby Boy
Well we all wake up in good spirits on Saturday morning......mini break time - yay! DD loves a mini break and is excited we are going on our holidays (even if only for one night). Suprisingly everything fits in the boot of my not-that-big car and we have a fairly uneventful one and three quarter hour journey arriving at about 10.30am. I used to go to Alton towers when I was a kid mainly because it wasn't very far from where I grew up. I have fond memories of school trips there too and riding the corkscrew rollercoaster which back in the 80's was the only upside down rollercoaster in the UK I think. I don't think we will be doing many white knuckle rides with a baby and a 5 year old - its the waterpark we are going for. The splash landings hotel is the sort of place I would have hated to go as a couple but with kids its just brilliant. You actually do feel like you are on holiday there - lots of brightly coloured displays (whats that giant deckchair all about?) , kids stuff to do, music and great service. We book a table for 6.30pm for dinner in the buffet - it'll be like all inclusive Antigua all over again except without the rum punch - bring on the bloated belly feeling !!!
Anyway we go to the pool first as we can't get into our room until after 3pm. DD is very excited but we are in the first aid office before she is barely wet as she cuts her foot on a sharp bit of pool edge. Its not serious but she likes to be a drama queen and takes some persuading to get back in the water despite having a big waterproof dressing on it. I sit and chill out with Alex in the buggy - he is sparko.Then me and DH take it in turns to go off with DD and then I take him in too. We get lots of oohs and aahs - he is cute in his baby wetsuit.
Afterwards we check into our room ( after riding the lifts with the music from captain pugwash which we didn't stop dancing to all weekend). Its smallish but fine and DD is on top of her bunk bed to try it out in seconds. Still I am wondering how much sleep I will get but hey its only one night. We go out and have an explore around the hotel and end up having a cheeky drink in the bar before we eat. There is a steel band and loads to keep DD busy so its really relaxing. We eat far too much at dinner (has to be done) and I have to restrain myself from actually tipping my head and drinking straight from the chocolate fountain. I did perhaps eat at least 5 too many marshmallows dipped in choc and left the table feeling far too full and ever so slightly sick. I am impressed with the quality of the food. What is it about buffets that makes you pile your plate with the oddest combination 'just to have a taste'? Or is just me praps? No I know I am not alone. We go and have a nosy at the other hotel next door which is a bit posher than splash landings - its lovely. DD loves the lift there too, its got spooky music in it and the enchanted garden restaurant has a big talking tree at the entrance. Sounds really tacky but its so well done you can't help but smile at it.
By 8.30pm Alex is getting cranky and DD is tired so we go back to our room. I am amazed that DD falls asleep within 10 minutes of getting into bed. By 9pm Alex is fed and in his moses basket sparko and DH is snoring next to me. Eh? must be 3 hours of swimming I think. Alex wakes for 20 mins at 3am to feed so I have had 6 hours sleep on the trot - the most in 12 weeks. And then as Alex doesnt wake until 7am and DD not until 7.45 ( that never happens) it is officially the best nights sleep in a long time. Perfect.
After a huge breakfast we check out and go to the pool again until early afternoon, before setting off home. We all feel sad to leave (including me who was doom and gloom about it last week) but we have survived our first family trip away with Alex. Bring on June and Center Parcs................can't wait.
Anyway we go to the pool first as we can't get into our room until after 3pm. DD is very excited but we are in the first aid office before she is barely wet as she cuts her foot on a sharp bit of pool edge. Its not serious but she likes to be a drama queen and takes some persuading to get back in the water despite having a big waterproof dressing on it. I sit and chill out with Alex in the buggy - he is sparko.Then me and DH take it in turns to go off with DD and then I take him in too. We get lots of oohs and aahs - he is cute in his baby wetsuit.
Afterwards we check into our room ( after riding the lifts with the music from captain pugwash which we didn't stop dancing to all weekend). Its smallish but fine and DD is on top of her bunk bed to try it out in seconds. Still I am wondering how much sleep I will get but hey its only one night. We go out and have an explore around the hotel and end up having a cheeky drink in the bar before we eat. There is a steel band and loads to keep DD busy so its really relaxing. We eat far too much at dinner (has to be done) and I have to restrain myself from actually tipping my head and drinking straight from the chocolate fountain. I did perhaps eat at least 5 too many marshmallows dipped in choc and left the table feeling far too full and ever so slightly sick. I am impressed with the quality of the food. What is it about buffets that makes you pile your plate with the oddest combination 'just to have a taste'? Or is just me praps? No I know I am not alone. We go and have a nosy at the other hotel next door which is a bit posher than splash landings - its lovely. DD loves the lift there too, its got spooky music in it and the enchanted garden restaurant has a big talking tree at the entrance. Sounds really tacky but its so well done you can't help but smile at it.
By 8.30pm Alex is getting cranky and DD is tired so we go back to our room. I am amazed that DD falls asleep within 10 minutes of getting into bed. By 9pm Alex is fed and in his moses basket sparko and DH is snoring next to me. Eh? must be 3 hours of swimming I think. Alex wakes for 20 mins at 3am to feed so I have had 6 hours sleep on the trot - the most in 12 weeks. And then as Alex doesnt wake until 7am and DD not until 7.45 ( that never happens) it is officially the best nights sleep in a long time. Perfect.
After a huge breakfast we check out and go to the pool again until early afternoon, before setting off home. We all feel sad to leave (including me who was doom and gloom about it last week) but we have survived our first family trip away with Alex. Bring on June and Center Parcs................can't wait.
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