I think my blogging days are coming to a close. As I type its the 19th of April and I am more than halfway through the Easter school holidays....and guess what? I am loving it! The sun is shining, I am getting as close to normal a nights sleep as is possible with a baby and a 5 year old, we are having fun and my daughter is loving her little brother so much. We do have our moments of course, life isn't perfect, time is in short supply and my to do list gets longer rather than shorter but hey ho thats just the way it is.
When I was in hospital my blog is what kept me going each day, I had time to kill and it seems that it kept people entertained too. But the biggest attraction of reading it I think was that everyone wanted to know what happened in the end. But this blog of course is more of a diary for me and as Alex turns 4 months old this Friday (where the hell did that time go?) it has served as a great record of events for his first few weeks of life for us to look back on in years to come.
A few weeks ago I got a lovely message from someone via an online message board that I go on sometimes. It was from a lady who was stuck in hospital with exactly the same condition that I had - same hospital, same consultant, same fertility treatment even. She was on Robert Watson Ward too - had been there a month with still 2 more weeks to go until her planned C-Section. I was amazed that she found me but she told me that Paula and Helen had given her the link to my blog and suggested she read it to help her through her long hospital stay. How lovely that those two midwives still remember me and are telling people to read the blog to help them too. Brought a lump to my throat it did. I messaged her back and wished her well. Fingers crossed all went well for her and she is now at home with her precious baby.
DH had his birthday and that night the clocks went forward. That was breakthrough week for Alex sleeping. For some reason the clocks changing coincided with him just waking once a night and he has been doing ever since. I know some babies sleep through the night from much earlier than him but I am really pleased with that. He is asleep by 7pm and goes through til at least 6am with just one feed a night now. I feel like a new woman!!!! And sometimes my body clock is waking me up before he does, and I no longer have to be in bed by 9pm. Mind you I still never see past 10pm, that would be far too daring........
We have had some stressful times with 'battle of the bottle'. We had tried everything, spent a fortune on 3 different types of bottle, 3 brands of formula, me leaving the house while DH tried to get him down him, you name it we have tried it. The baby boy just loves his boob too much. I was on the verge of giving up trying and resigned myself to breastfeeding forever but spurred on by the thought of having to cancel my girlie weekend in May I went on boob strike just last weekend. I expressed milk at every feed and despite him fighting the bottle for most of the Saturday, hunger kicked in and he started to take the bottle late afternoon. I carried on all day Sunday and he took it without fuss. Expressing every feed is such a faff though and it was okay while DH was home but yesterday with DD and Alex to look after on my own I thought sod this and cracked open the formula again. He still guzzled it down and this time didn't gag and spit it back out at me like I was giving him poison like he had before. So hopefully I have cracked it this time. I am feeding him by boob in the morning, at bedtime and in the night but bottle feeding in the daytime. Thank God, my nipples couldn't have taken much more constant pumping. For those of you who have never experienced an electric breast pump, just try putting the most tender part of your body in the hose of your Dyson vacuum cleaner and switch on. Grit your teeth for about 25 minutes and you'll get the idea.
I am still on the blood pressure tablets. Its not far off normal now but the doc is weaning me off them slowly.......all of that stress in my first couple of weeks after leaving hospital seems a distant memory, with my BP through the roof.
Alex has had his last lot of jabs today - no more until he is one year old now. And he went in his own big cot on Tuesday 5th April . In his room all on his own - I did feel quite emotional about it at first as it was strange not seeing him in with us but he really was too big for his moses basket and we are all sleeping much better now.
And he is such a delight to have. He chats and gurgles gibberish at us all the time (where does he get that from??) Last week he learned to giggle and laugh - its so funny to watch him. He can't turn over yet but he is very good at bum shuffling along on his play mat, the time is whizzing by so quickly we will be watching him crawl before we know it. I never thought I could love another child so much but all my friends were right - you just find as much love to give to a second child as you do with your first. I couldn't ask for much more really.
When DD was about 3 I used to take her to this yoga class for kids which in total honesty was a bit of a disaster as she didn't take to it but anyway there was another mum there who I used to chat to. One day we were talking and she shared with me that when she put her daughter to bed at night they used to tell each other 3 things that had happened that day that they were grateful for and gave thanks for. They did it every single day and it ended the day on a positive note even if the day hadn't been great. I thought that was a brilliant idea and I started doing it too. We don't do it every day but we do at least 3 times a week. DD often says to me 'mummy we haven't done the gratefuls!' Its really simple stuff like 'I am grateful having a lovely time with our friends' or 'for having a lovely lunch' or 'getting a smile from Alex' Sounds cheesy but if you feel like you have had a crap day and feel shattered it makes you pick out all the good stuff from your day. Sending a bit of gratitude out into the world can only be a positive thing in this day and age of moaning and whinging. ( I am not exempt either, I am very capable of a whinge when things aren't going my way sometimes)
So anyway, try it yourself, you never know you might like it........
Time to sign off now. I know I have a lot to be thankful for and I think myself lucky everyday. I am sending out a bit of love to some of my family and friends who have had a really terrible year for various reasons. You know who you are.
This time last year we were a family of three and just getting towards the end of the IVF cycle that created Alexander. On Saturday this week on the 23rd of April it will exactly a year ago that he was conceived. An embryologist performed a miracle for us that day and hand picked out the bit of me and the bit of DH that would ultimately create our baby boy. How amazing is that? And if you had told me then what the following 12 months would have in store for us I really wouldn't have believed it. Its been a bumpy ride.
So thats me done, bye for now.............thanks for reading.
Love Helen xxxxxx
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